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Yuvi Zalkow's Broadside

$40

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36

My boss tells me it's embarrassing that I've been here for six years and I'm still at Goldfish status. Ever since we installed the gamification plug-in, he knows exactly how many Likes I've gotten from coworkers, exactly how many Comments I've made, exactly how many Best Answers and Virtual Pints of Beer I've received, exactly how many Blog Posts I've posted. He even knows how many animated cat GIFs I've giffed, which is zero. We get points assigned to these various activities and are assigned a status level based on our points. I'm a Goldfish even though some six-monthers have already leveled up to Penguin. My boss is a Blue Whale.