Fathertime Bourbon Empty Nester Strength "Middle Child Mystery" (signed by Jim Gaffigan)
Fathertime is a Kentucky bourbon from comedian Jim Gaffigan. Middle Child Mystery is his third expression, sold as a 750ml bottle and hand-signed by Jim himself.
Jim has grown to appreciate stronger pours, which is why he decided to bottle some of Middle Child Mystery at cask strength (~120 proof), affectionately referring to this expression as "Empty Nester Strength." When children finally leave the home, parents enter a unique stage in their journey. While empty nesters are often characterized as being victoriously liberated from parental responsibilities, they sometimes also experience a level of grief. The grip of love and fear that permeates parenting grows a little tighter. And some nights that calls for a stronger bourbon.
New parents are often told, "Children are like pancakes. You always mess up the first one." Based on this Pancake Logic, a second or third child would be an improvement, right? Not if you listen to birth order conspiracies (aka "theories"). According to those, the middle child has "issues" because they don't receive enough attention. Like most parents, Jim would never ignore one of his children. Unless they were asking for a screen. Or money. Or if he was watching football. Well, despite all this birth order nonsense ("theory"), Jim's middle child somehow earned the right to be his phone's wallpaper image, much to the dismay of the other pancakes. The middle child is often a mystery; but then again, so is most of parenting... which is probably why Jesus invented bourbon.
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